Jan 03 2009
New Season 5 promo — How far would you go for love?
Thirty-one seconds. On your mark. Get set. Go …
Did you catch that? –>
“DESTINY CALLS”
Again!
That Destiny sure is persistent. Always calling, in all of the promos, even though no one wants to pick up the phone.
I bet Destiny calls while people are trying to eat dinner with their familes. I bet Destiny calls when people are just getting out of the shower. I bet Destiny calls even when people are on the federal Do Not Call list.
“Press 1 to speak to a live representative who will tell you how Destiny will give you a vacation on a tropical island, all expenses paid.”
Maybe Destiny just wants them to buy some timeshares.
Or would that be time-space-continuum shares?
[ / silliness ]
Destiny calls collect. When that fails, it charges the phone bill to your karma instead. Nobody sees it coming.
Destiny calls you names. Sometimes they’re good names, like ‘hero’ or ‘chosen’. Sometimes they’re bad names, like ‘red shirt’ or ‘bystander’. Nobody’s quite sure how it chooses these names.
Destiny calls in favors on a regular basis. And they can’t even be ordinary ones like “loan me a cup of sugar” or “babysit my kids for me?” No, they’re more like “Teach the brat who’s going to save the world” or “Devote your life to a cause that might never reward you.”
You mean like that?
Yeah, just like that! LOL.
And sometimes Destiny calls for a pizza, but the pizza never comes. When that happens, Destiny chalks it up to Fate.
Fate is clearly Destiny’s twin sister. For some reason, nobody can tell the two apart. They don’t know why; they can tell who’s who. But these outsiders just can’t do it.
It explains the misplaced pizzas, anyway.
Meanwhile, Fate sits there trying to figure out what to do with a pizza she never ordered that the delivery boy swears is hers. Eating it’s not an option; just plucking off the pineapples won’t get their flavor out of the cheese….
Fate gives up on her pizza, and throws it out. Now, Fate is bored. She decides to create a sockpuppet, who will pretend to be her. She calls the sockpuppet “Locke.” Fate’s cousin, Free Will, is jealous and wants a sockpuppet of his own. He calls his sockpuppet “Jack.” The cousins build a boxing ring and put their sockpuppets inside, hoping they will fight. But Jack wanders off, looking for a place where he can get a drink, and Locke is so enthralled with his reflection in his shiny knife blade that he doesn’t even notice Jack is gone.